I stumbled across this little paragraph by Wilbur Rees that keeps its home in the back of my old, worn Bible. I keep it near to remind me of my pitiful life before I understood the cross. It goes like this...
“I would like to buy $3 worth of God, please,
Not enough to explode my soul or disturb my sleep,
But just enough to equal a cup of warm milk
Or a snooze in the sunshine.
I don’t want enough of him to make me love a black man
Or pick beets with a migrant.
I want ecstasy,
Not transformation;
I want the warmth of the womb,
Not new birth.
I want a pound of the Eternal
In a paper sack.
I would like to buy $3 worth of God, please.”
When I was young I thought I would be happiest by keeping God at arms length and living my life the way I chose. I wanted just a bit of God, enough to keep me from hell, but not enough of Him to start dictating my life. I worked hard to convince myself that I was a Christian by listing the convenient things I did that “proved” my salvation, going to church, caring about others, praying, even feeling emotion during sermons and worship. All external. Looking back, the only love that sprang from my heart was a love for me. I did not want God to own me…I wanted to own Him.
Then, my Heavenly Father did for me what I could not do for myself. He showed me how utterly wrong I was to ever think I could have just a little of Him. It was a terrible lie. It had to be all or nothing.
We have countless relationships in our livers that require little attention and little cost. We are content to love just a little and be loved just a little in return. Not so with God. It is all or nothing.
Matthew 10:37-39
“He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me.”
Please dear sister, ask yourself this honest question… “Do I love Christ more than anything else in this entire world?” If your answer is no, pray and ask Him to help you love Him. Since you cannot love a God you do not know, go find your Bible right now and begin to get to know Him by reading the book of John. I hope that you will find Him to be irresistible! You cannot be His and love Him little. It’s all or nothing.
“And he who does not take up his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.”
Surely, when you read this verse you see a bloody and beaten Jesus carrying His cross past hate-filled crowds to the place He would die. His great love for you prompted Him to die in your place. Do you love Him enough to die for Him? Jesus also said, “If you love me you will keep my commandments.” So do you love Him enough to hold your tongue with your spouse, to be patient with a child, to forgive a friend? If we don’t love Him enough to obey in the small things, how will we love Him enough to die for Him? That is our calling. Jesus asks us to love Him so dearly that we will obey Him no matter the cost. It’s all or nothing.
He who has found his life shall lose it, and he who has lost has life for my sake shall find it.”
There’s no such thing as a sackful of God. It was a lie to believe I could have just a piece of Him in order to be saved from hell. As I give Him all of my life to own He gives me all of His new promised-filled life in exchange. It’s all or nothing.
Have you come to a place in your spiritual life where you can honestly say that you have made that wonderful exchange? Oh, I pray that you have! May your life be emptied of self and filled with all that Christ is! May each act of loving obedience to His Word bring you to a clearer reflection of Christ. May you wake every day willing to love Him no matter the cost-willing even to die for Him.
Remember dear sister, it’s all or nothing.
The Christmas Lamb
By Kris Goertzen
I want to share with you a conversation that may have happened in eternity past...
Long, long ago, before there was time, God the Father told His Son, “I love You. I love You so much… I want to give you something that is truly wonderful. Together I want us to create a universe for You. We will fill it with magnificent and breathtaking beauty. There will be rivers and oceans, lush green valleys with breath taking flowers. We will create amazing animals in every size and shape and pattern, some will swim, others will walk, some will even fly!
“And then… the crowning gift I will give You in creation, will be more magnificent than sweetly singing birds and more breathtaking than the stars of the heavens. We will create beings in our own image… and they will love You with their whole hearts! You will be the center of their lives. They will long for Your nearness, so You will go down and walk with them in the cool of the day. You will enjoy the bliss as they discover all that we have created for them. Their love will bring unspeakable delight to Your heart. And it will give me such joy to watch them love You.
“But sadly I must warn you, my Son. Their love … it won't last. They will do the unthinkable. They will become intoxicated by subtleties of the Evil One and they will begin to follow him and imitate him. The very one I cast from heaven for his pride and arrogance will suck them away from You and the sweetness of Your love.
“All too soon they will turn their back on You. They will live their lives and take no thought of You. Their days will be consumed with themselves, their every thought will be of nothing but self. They will trample over Your intense love for them and choose to live like swine, independent from You.
“They will neglect You and dismiss Your longings for them. They will heap such sin on themselves until I won't be able to endure it any longer. My anger will rage at them for disregarding You, my beautiful and exquisite Son. I will yearn to destroy them for daring to live without honoring You. They will become my enemies. I will be sorry I created them.
“You will have to go to them, my Son, and show them their heinous sin. You will have to take an innocent lamb and slaughter it. It will be awful, but they must understand how ugly and gruesome their sin is to Me, they must understand that their rejection of You must be punished.
“The innocent lamb will only be a temporary substitute… a shadow…. of things to come.
“My Son, my dear and perfect Son… it is You who ultimatley must go to them. You must go and buy them back from sin. The price will be very great, very great indeed.
“Will you go?
“Will you leave the adoration of the angels and the palace and beauties and perfections of heaven? Will You leave My side to born to a sinful woman? I must warn You. There will be no princes to herald Your coming. There will be no one to serve You and honor You as You deserve. You must be born in a shameful place where You will be wrapped in rags. You must live Your whole life in poverty so they will see by Your perfect example that the things of this world have no consequence, they are dim and trivial in comparison with Your love for them. You will speak of the love You and I have for each other and be hated for it. Even those who call You their friend will misunderstand You and deny You in Your darkest hour.
"Will You go?
“What I am trying to tell You, my precious Son is that You will be born to die. I am asking You, the Holy One who has only pleased Me, who has loved Me and obeyed Me perfectly to go and die as an innocent lamb, as their substitute.
“At the end of Your perfect life, You will go to a garden, physically sick with thoughts of the agonizing death that waits for You. You will ask Your closest friends to come and pray with You…but they will fail You once again. You will fall on Your face before Me and beg and plead with Me for another way. Being the Sin-Bearer for mankind will repulse You. You know that soon guards will come and begin to torture You for hours without mercy… Then they will finally nail Your innocent hands… to a cross. And as if they hadn’t made You suffer enough, they will stand and jeer and mock You… but even then, You will love them and show them how to forgive.
“The earth we created for You will rise up and revolt against the sight of Your unjust suffering, the earth will shake and the sun will grow black, unable to witness the horror of Your pain.
“And then my Son, will You allow Me to heap upon You the very sins of those I created to love You? Will You suffer and die in their place? For the very ones who have hurt and rejected You?
“Will You go?
"Will You allow Me for the first time to turn My back on You? The separation will be unbearable and excruciating but My eyes are too pure look at their sin. It will sear your heart as I let all the wrath I have for every sin that was ever committed to burn and rage against You.
“Will You go? Will you be their Lamb?
“Oh, My Son, if You will go and become their substitute, I will raise You from the dead and give You a new and glorious body and You will be highly exalted in heaven and earth! You will be crowned with glory and honor and power, seated on a throne at My right hand!
“And people from that day to this will hear of the great sacrifice You, the Great Lamb of God made in their place. And some will be sorry for their sins. And they will leave their sins at Your cross and embrace You with a love that will last for eternity. And when it comes for their time to die…You will go to meet them and bring them out of the poverty of that world to live here forever with You, so You can lavish them with Your love forever.
“Their love for You will never fade away. It will grow for eternity as they discover Your magnificence and all You have in store for them.
“That is the love gift I want to give You, my Son, my Lamb. I want to give You those that love You.
“Will You go?”
Dearest friends, you know He did come... He came for You.
The perfect Lamb of God came to be your substitute because He longs to shower You with His love. I guess the question I must ask you is..
Will you love Him?
I caution You. I am talking about a love that will radically change your life. It has mine. I love Christ for what He did for me on the cross. I have never been the same. My life belongs to Him now. I long to spend time with Him, He fills me with joy and peace and strength and love like I have never known before. And I want to live every day with my last day I mind…when He comes for me!
Will You love Him?
You will be completely changed. You will be clean and forgiven! For the first time in your life you will know what it means to be loved.
Will you fail to love Him and disregard Him as so many in the past have? Let me warn you…since they did not honor the Lamb’s work for them on the cross, they are suffering the wrath of God…forever.
Will you love Him?
My dear friends, Kim Cummings and Anita Wiens, from Meade, Kansas, accompanied me for 10 amazing days ministering in Russia. From our first security check in Wichita, where the guard flipped through Kim’s Bible and gave us Psalm 121, to the scuffle with drugs and alcohol we witnessed on our plane before heading home from Moscow, we saw clear evidence of God’s providential care.
After registering our visit in Moscow, we took another flight, 4 more hours, to Tomsk, literally on the other side of the world!
I am so grateful to Pastor Sergey for keeping us busy serving the sweet women and children in his region. Upon our arrival he whisked us an hour away to a small village named Malnickovo. We spent time with precious women in a dug rehab center supported by his church. Each of them were anxious to testify of their faith in Christ’s power to change lives. These women were recovering from mind-boggling abuse, solely with the Word of God. One of them, our interrepter for the week named Anna, permently marked my life with her zeal for Christ.
That evening we held our first women’s meeting. There were many tears and hugs and kisses. I left that evening filled with awe of these precious sisters and their hunger for God’s Word.
Next, we held a 2-day conference in Tomsk at the Central Baptist Church. We arrived early to find the old babushkas, grandmothers, had already gathered as they always do to pray for the upcoming service. They greeted us with amazement that we would travel so far to come to harsh Siberia to bring God’s Word. They kept asking, ”how far over the water?” When I said 10 hours, one of them confessed that she had only prayed 6 hours! Can you imagine? I was so humbled. I couldn’t hide my tears and doubted for the first time in my life if I could really get up and open God’s Word to these amazing saints. Kim firmly exhorted me with these words I will carry with me always...“You are going to do the same thing you always do, for the same One you always do it for.” We had a precious time talking about God’s priorities for women. We closed with more tears, hugs, kisses and invitations to return. They promised to memorize their notes so they could put God’s Word to life. Please pray for a former communist named Alla, that kept exclaiming that she had never heard teachings from the Bible, (even though she had attended the Russian Orthodox church all her life).
We left our hearts at an orphange where we spent a long afternoon giving the kids treats, a gospel skit, toys, gospel stories and lots and lots of love. It was hard to drive away...
We were invited to speak in 2 classes at one of Tomsk’s universities about women’s cultural issues and were shocked at the freedom we had to speak of what Christ had done in our lives. We wondered if we would be given the same freedom in an American University. I am emailing some of those girls and pray that God would do His work in their hearts.
We also met with darling 18-21 year old young women. We met in one of their flats with some of their unsaved friends. We talked about all the things you would expect….how to be truly beautiful in God’s eyes and how to find a godly husband. The same things I talk to young women about in the states!
Pastor Sergey was thrilled with the gift of 83 study Bibles you sent! He asked me to send his deepest gratitude He would never have been able to afford all those Bibles.
I could fill a novel with all the blessings God filled us with…I just wanted to give you a tiny glimpse of the fruit of your prayers. May God bless you abundantly for taking your precious time to pray for me.
My mom made us memorize scripture. That’s right, she made us, my little brother, sister and I. Of course I tried the usual shenanigans to get out of it, but to no avail. We said our verses over and over and over until we could say them in our sleep. Oh, and let me also tell you. We didn’t really memorize verses; we memorized whole chapters, like all 48 verses of Matthew 5. I don’t remember it being a particular warm, nurturing family time. It was the right thing to do, so we did it….over and over and over. It may not have been fun at the time, but it shaped my life by teaching me how to think God’s thoughts. So, moms, grandmothers, aunts, teachers, you know what to do…over and over and over.
One of my favorite chapters that we memorized is Psalm 91. It burned in my heart that God was near. I have always known I can dwell in the secret place of the Most High and hide in the shadow of the Almighty! I can say, “He is mine. He will protect me. I can trust His nearness.” He will cover me with His wings. I will never have to be afraid again because He is near me. In fact, it doesn’t matter what happens all around me…He won’t let it hurt me. He has even told His angels to keep an eye on me. There’s just nothing that can hurt me. And since I love Him so much, He is going to take care of me, and I can call on Him anytime I want. He even says that He will honor me, but I don’t know why. It is enough that He has given me His salvation.
Charles Spurgeon has said of Psalm 91,
"The blessings here are not for all believers but for those who live in close fellowship with God."
That’s all a God centered woman wants, nearness to God. No pretending, that just leaves us empty. No masks, that leaves us weary. We want the nearness of God. That alone satisfies.
As women we long for fufillment and intimacy, but ladies, we won’t find it in friends or in husbands, by getting our way or by getting more stuff. The great Thomas Watson tells us,
"Walking with God is the best way to know the mind of God;
Friends who walk together impart their secrets one to another."
Wow. Me and God, that’s intimacy I want.
“Blessed Lord, let me climb up near to Thee, and love and long and plead,
And wrestle with Thee, and pant for deliverance from the body of sin,
For my heart is wandering and lifeless, and my soul mourns to think it should ever lose sight of its Beloved.”
The Valley of Vision
Ladies, you and I are on assignment by God! Just think of it, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords has a dream, a plan for you life! I hope that excites you as much as it does me! He has prepared so much for you; surely you don’t want to miss out on a single blessing or opportunity?
Psalm 143:5, 6
I remember the days of old;
I meditate on all Thy doings;
I muse on the works of Thy hands.
I stretch out my hands to Thee;
My soul longs for Thee, as a parched land.”
I have a test question for you. Where does your mind wander? Does your mind often wander to “If only…”, or “I wish…”, or “Why…?” Here’s the answer, and it will be a sanity saver for you: Do what David did. Instead of letting your mind wander to all the things that worry you, instead of rehearsing over and over all that has hurt you…let your mind wander to all your blessings in the LORD! Start this new discipline with your mind and I promise you will buy yourself many more years of mental health! Meditating on the goodness of God will make you even happier than you ever dreamed you could be! His sweetness is infinitely richer and lasts forever. From the minute you wake up in the morning until your last thought at night, let your mind remember God’s great love and compassion for you.
Thinking God’s thoughts is a discipline, especially if you are a negative person. Believe me, I know! The perfectionist in me is really good at being negative. Ask God for His help to turn your negative, worrisome thoughts into praise and gratitude. I promise He will answer you. The more you spend time soaking up God’s Word, the more He will use it to change you from the inside out. God’s Word is THE agent of change. No amount of sheer willpower can bring the kind of change we need here, it will come from turning our thoughts to Him.
May Charles Spurgeon’s words describe our new lives in Christ…
“Souls abiding in Jesus open the day with prayer, prayer surrounds them as an atmosphere all day long; at night they fall asleep praying.”